Hello, Pineapple.

Even though you hurt my tummy, I am eating you for the deliciousness and for the old wive's tale about you and labor starting. Even though I know baby will be born on Monday due to my highly scientific "the number of cars I pass going the other way on Haselton Road between Black Brook and the Methodist Church equals the number of days from now baby will be born" method of prediction.

Listen, if the also scientific "if I see three horses and a white dog on my way home, I am pregnant" works, this must too! And what about "the gender of the person driving the next red car I see is the gender of my baby" test? Also scientifically proven.