How did I become such a jerk?

Example:
Two co-workers are discussing ordering Chinese food in the hall outside my office.
Co-worker A: I hate calling those places! They should just get some one who speaks English to take orders.
Co-worker B: Just to take orders?
Me (yelling from my office): They should outsource it to India!

Example:
Two co-workers are discussing an independent film by a semi-local filmmaker that has been shown locally at schools and such. They are in the copy room.
Co-worker A: I am going to see "Disappearances"
Co-worker B: Oh, will the director be there? I saw him when I went. It's Wes Craven.
Me (yelling from my office): Um. It's RAY Craven. I'm pretty sure the Horror film director WES Craven is not from Vermont!
The Internet: Yeah, smartypants, that would be JAY Craven.

Example
A co-worker is talking about the South Dakota abortion ban.
Co-worker: It would ban all abortions!
Me (not yelling from my office but still basically being a jerk because who the fuck defends the SD AB Ban?): Well, actually, there is a limited life exception.

Seriously, I am such a bossy-know-it-all. And a buttinski. If I weren't so funny, smart AND good-looking, everyone would hate me.