Tuesday, June 13, 2006

Two Phone Calls

#1

M: I'm stressing out.
B: What's going on?
M: My car shakes like crazy when I'm stopped.
B: Oh.
M: Well???What is it? I'm freaking out!
B: It's probably the alternator
M: Is that expensive?
B: Like three hundred bucks.
M: I need a new car. What if it's my transmission? It felt like it was going to die!
B: Well it probably didn't need the new battery.
M: Oh geez. I'm stressing!
B: Call your mechanic then, you big freak!
M: Oh, my car is there.
B: Then why are you asking me what's wrong with it?
M: Is it my transmission? Should I just go buy a new car?
B: OH. MY. GOD. I bet it is! It's going to cost us so much money and we will starve to death and have to burn our furniture for heat.
M: It's summer. I am gonna call him now and see what's wrong.
B: Good Idea!
M: Shut up! Help me not stress out!
B: Just call him...

#2
M: Guess what it was?
B: JUst tell me.
M: Guess!
B: No.
M: Wrong! It was the spark plugs! He says I'll get better fuel economy now.
B: Yeah, but you'll never get rid of those gray hairs you sprout all morning.


Please let the Junior Miss inherit Bill's easygoing non-stressing nature. But maybe let her inherit the tiny part of me that stresses, just so she'll be able to remember to pay her bills.

I swear to god, I get wound a little tighter with each passing year. Perhaps I should quit lobbying for sex ed and switch to trying to get Xanax put into the drinking water.

2 Comments:

Blogger Christa said...

Oh, I laughed so hard I snorted. And cried! How easily I can relate to you stressing...and I DO have good meds, if you'd like I can share!

6:24 AM  
Blogger Briar said...

You are too funny!

6:41 AM  

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